Quotes with Profanity |
Obscene or profane or vulgar or dirty or just sexy quotes.
Life
 | Life is a four letter word. — Lenny Bruce, 1925-1966, American comedian 5 likes |
Face
 | She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Beliefs
 | Was it legal? FUCK legal! Not nice? FUCK nice! The nation says I’m not nice? FUCK THE NATION! — from the film Scarface (1983) 5 likes |
Memory
 | Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. — Barbara Bush, 1925-2018, wife of the 41st USA president 16 likes |
Appearance
| You have a look in your eye like you haven’t been fucked in a year. — from the film Scarface (1983) 7 likes |
Sorrow
 | Broken hearts are for assholes. — Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician (song title from the album “Sheik Yerbouti”, 1977) 11 likes |
Refusal
| Things you never hear: “Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.” — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 9 likes |
Explanations
 | Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. — Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic 7 likes |
Men & Women
 | Men get laid, but women get screwed. — Quentin Crisp, 1908-1999, British writer 4 likes |
Sex
 | She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie. — Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress (on rival Joan Crawfor) 12 likes |
| I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
 | Let's f ck; all I need is “u” — Anonymous 7 likes |
| Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. — Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic 7 likes |
| Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 6 likes |
 | A woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure. — Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer 6 likes |
 | Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her. — Oscar Levant, 1906-1972, American pianist 4 likes |
Prostitution
 | A country without bordellos is like a house without bathrooms. — Marlen Dietrich, 1901-1992, German-American actress 6 likes |
| I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Marriage
| Don't get down on one knee for a woman who won't get down on two for you. — Anonymous 12 likes |
Woman
| A world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass! — Anonymous 6 likes |
Arguing
| You can’t argue with a good blowjob. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 6 likes |
Revolution
| If men couldn't fuck there'd be a bounty on their heads. — Anonymous 4 likes |
Cities
| California is a small woman saying, 'Fuck me.' New York is a large man saying, 'Fuck you!' — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 6 likes |
War & Peace
| Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Television
| In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 3 likes |
Imagination
| A woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure. — Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer 6 likes |
Promises
| I promise not to come in your mouth. — Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician (title of a short instrumental ballad in the 1977 album “Zappa in New York”) 4 likes |
Being Busy
| Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa. — Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic 7 likes |
Computers
| I tried setting my hotmail password to 'penis'. It said my password wasn't long enough. — Anonymous 3 likes |
Doctors
| I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
Career
 | Well, that's the last cock I'll ever have to suck. — Marilyn Monroe, 1926-1962, American actress 11 likes |
Economy
 | When the stocks go up, the cocks go up! — Xaviera Hollander, 1943-, Dutch call girl & author 4 likes |
Drinking
| Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 6 likes |
Cinema
| She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie. — Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress (on rival Joan Crawfor) 12 likes |
Control
| Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Suffering
| A world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass! — Anonymous 6 likes |
Holes
| I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
