Obscene Quotes: Profane & Dirty Sayings |
Obscene or profane or vulgar or dirty or just sexy quotes.
Life
 | Life is a four letter word. — Lenny Bruce, 1925-1966, American comedian 5 likes |
Face
 | She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Appearance
 | You have a look in your eye like you haven’t been fucked in a year. — from the film Scarface (1983) 7 likes |
Sorrow
 | Broken hearts are for assholes. — Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician (song title from the album “Sheik Yerbouti”, 1977) 11 likes |
Refusal
| Things you never hear: “Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.” — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 9 likes |
Men & Women
 | Men get laid, but women get screwed. — Quentin Crisp, 1908-1999, British writer 4 likes |
Sex
 | She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie. — Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress (on rival Joan Crawfor) 12 likes |
| I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
 | Tell him I've been too fucking busy – or vice versa. — Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic 7 likes |
 | A woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure. — Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer 6 likes |
 | Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her. — Oscar Levant, 1906-1972, American pianist 4 likes |
Prostitution
 | A country without bordellos is like a house without bathrooms. — Marlen Dietrich, 1901-1992, German-American actress 7 likes |
| I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Marriage
 | Don't get down on one knee for a woman who won't get down on two for you. — Anonymous 12 likes |
Woman
| A world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass! — Anonymous 6 likes |
Arguing
| You can’t argue with a good blowjob. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 6 likes |
Reciprocity
| Don't get down on one knee for a woman who won't get down on two for you. — Anonymous 12 likes |
War & Peace
| Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Television
| In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 3 likes |
Imagination
| A woman is, occasionally, quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure. — Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer 6 likes |
Promises
| I promise not to come in your mouth. — Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician (title of a short instrumental ballad in the 1977 album “Zappa in New York”) 4 likes |
Being Busy
| Tell him I've been too fucking busy – or vice versa. — Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic 7 likes |
Doctors
| I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
Career
 | Well, that's the last cock I'll ever have to suck. — Marilyn Monroe, 1926-1962, American actress 11 likes |
Economy
 | When the stocks go up, the cocks go up! — Xaviera Hollander, 1943-, Dutch call girl & author 4 likes |
Cinema
| She has slept with every male star at MGM except Lassie. — Bette Davis, 1908-1989, American actress (on rival Joan Crawfor) 12 likes |
Control
| Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 5 likes |
Suffering
| A world without women? Certainly is a pain on each guys ass! — Anonymous 6 likes |
Holes
| I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening. — George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian 10 likes |
