Quotes by
Woody Allen |
1935- , American actor & film director
American film director, screenwriter, actor, comedian, playwright, and author, best known for his bittersweet comic films containing elements of parody, slapstick, and the absurd.Some of the best-known of his over 40 films are Annie Hall (1977), Manhattan (1979), and Hannah and Her Sisters (1986).
Allen won four Academy Awards: three for Best Original Screenplay and one for Best Director (Annie Hall).
| 32 quotes | 2,603 visits |
Quotations
| • | The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. 12 |
| • | Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. 3 |
| • | My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. 3 |
| • | If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right. 2 |
Funny Quotes
| • | It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. 8 |
| • | Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. 8 |
| • | Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. 8 |
| • | There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution. 7 |
| • | Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman. 6 |
| • | Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. 6 |
| • | Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. 5 |
| • | If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. 5 |
| • | I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. 4 |
| • | I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. 4 |
| • | Can we actually know the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. 4 |
| • | Eternal nothingness is O.K. if you're dressed for it. 4 |
| • | I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves. 3 |
| • | I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. 3 |
| • | God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. 3 |
| • | Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. 3 |
| • | I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and I was able to go through War and Peace in 20 minutes. It’s about Russia. 2 |
| • | I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot. 2 |
| • | I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. 2 |
| • | Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. 2 |
| • | My brain: it's my second favorite organ. 2 |
| • | I'm not really the heroic type. I was beat up by Quakers. 2 |
| • | Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. 2 |
| • | Eighty percent of success is showing up. 2 |
| • | I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. 2 |
| • | Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage 2 |
| • | I don’t think my family liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. 2 |
| • | I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government. 2 |
