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Americans

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Quotations

Charles de GaulleYou may be sure that the Americans will commit all the stupidities they can think of, plus some that are beyond imagination.

—  Charles de Gaulle, 1890-1970, French President

20 likes
George CarlinWhen you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

17 likes
Winston ChurchillYou can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after they have exhausted all the other possibilities.

—  Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Prime Minister, Nobel 1953

13 likes
George Bernard ShawI have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

—  George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish writer, Nobel 1925

13 likes
Adolf HitlerEverything about the behaviour of American society reveals that it's half Judaised, and the other half negrified.

—  Adolf Hitler, 1889-1945, German dictator

12 likes
Marlen DietrichIn America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact.

—  Marlen Dietrich, 1901-1992, German-American actress

10 likes
Joseph StalinGreat Britain provided time; the United States provided money and Soviet Russia provided blood.

—  Joseph Stalin, 1879-1953, Soviet leader

8 likes
Georges ClemenceauAmerica is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

—  Georges Clemenceau, 1841-1929, French Prime Minister

7 likes
Harry TrumanAmerica was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination, and unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.

—  Harry Truman, 1884-1972, American President [1945-1953]

6 likes
Dave LettermanThey say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

—  Dave Letterman, 1947-, American TV talk show host

6 likes
Otto von BismarckThere is a special providence for drunkards, fools, and the United States of America.

—  Otto von Bismarck, 1815-1898, German chancellor

4 likes
Benjamin FranklinI wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad moral character; like those among men who live by sharping and robbing, he is generally poor, and often very lousy.

—  Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American politician & writer

4 likes
Kurt VonnegutIn case you haven’t noticed, we are now almost as feared and hated all over the world as the Nazis were.

—  Kurt Vonnegut, 1922-2007, American writer

4 likes
Gore VidalHalf the American people never read a newspaper. Half never vote for President — the same half?

—  Gore Vidal, 1925-2012, American writer

4 likes
Lyndon JohnsonThere’s America, there’s the South, and then there’s Mississippi.

—  Lyndon Johnson, 1908-1973, American President [1963-1969]

4 likes
Margaret ThatcherEurope was created by history. America was created by philosophy.

—  Margaret Thatcher, 1925-2013, British Prime Minister

4 likes
Terry PratchettA European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?
An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?

—  Terry Pratchett, 1948-2015, British writer

4 likes
Marlen DietrichJudging by the vast amount of cookbooks printed and sold in the United States one would think the American woman a fanatical cook. She isn’t.

—  Marlen Dietrich, 1901-1992, German-American actress

4 likes
Jean BaudrillardAmericans may have no identity, but they do have wonderful teeth.

—  Jean Baudrillard, 1929-2007, French intellectual

4 likes
Laurence J PeterAmerica is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

—  Laurence J Peter, 1919-1990, Canadian writer & educator

3 likes
Georges ClemenceauAmericans have no capacity for abstract thought, and make bad coffee.

—  Georges Clemenceau, 1841-1929, French Prime Minister

3 likes
Christopher HitchensThe great thing about the United States and the historically magnetic effect it has had on a lot of people like me is its generosity.

—  Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011, British-American journalist & writer

3 likes
Sigmund FreudAmerica is a mistake, admittedly a gigantic mistake, but a mistake nevertheless.

—  Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian psychologist, founder of psychoanalysis

3 likes
Harry TrumanNo nation on this globe should be more internationally minded than America because it was built by all nations.

—  Harry Truman, 1884-1972, American President [1945-1953]

3 likes
Calvin CoolidgeTo live under the American Constitution is the greatest political privilege that was ever accorded to the human race.

—  Calvin Coolidge, 1872-1933, American President [1923-1929]

3 likes
Calvin CoolidgeThe business of America is business.

—  Calvin Coolidge, 1872-1933, American President [1923-1929]

3 likes
P.J. O’ RourkeEach American embassy comes with two permanent features: a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas.

—  P.J. O’ Rourke, 1947-2022, American columnist & writer

3 likes
Michael CaineMy dialogue coach said to do a Texas accent, you lean on the next word, and that was the clue to me.

—  Michael Caine, 1933-, English actor

3 likes
Arthur ClarkeA 100 years ago, the electric telegraph made possible-indeed, inevitable-the United States of America. The communications satellite will make equally inevitable a United Nations of Earth; let us hope that the transition period will not be equally bloody.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

3 likes
Kurt VonnegutLike so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

—  Kurt Vonnegut, 1922-2007, American writer

2 likes
Kurt VonnegutHigh school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.

—  Kurt Vonnegut, 1922-2007, American writer

2 likes
Gore VidalOn 16 September 1985, when the Commerce Department announced that the United States had become a debtor nation, the American Empire died.

—  Gore Vidal, 1925-2012, American writer

2 likes
Gore VidalThe United States was founded by the brightest people in the country — and we haven't seen them since.

—  Gore Vidal, 1925-2012, American writer

2 likes
Samuel JohnsonI am willing to love all mankind, except an American.

—  Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784, English writer

2 likes
Franklin RooseveltWhat America needs now is a drink.

—  Franklin Roosevelt, 1882-1945, American President [1936-1945]

2 likes
Franklin RooseveltRemember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.

—  Franklin Roosevelt, 1882-1945, American President [1936-1945]

2 likes
Gertrude SteinAmerica is my country, and Paris is my home town.

—  Gertrude Stein, 1874-1946, American writer

Gertrude SteinAnd so I am an American and I have lived half my life in Paris, not the half that made me but the half in which I made what I made.

—  Gertrude Stein, 1874-1946, American writer

Bertrand RussellIn America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors, for the doctrine that all men are equal applies only upwards, not downwards.

—  Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970, British philosopher

Bill VaughanA citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

—  Bill Vaughan, 1915-1977, American journalist

William FaulknerTo understand the world, you must first understand a place like Mississippi.

—  William Faulkner, 1897-1962, American writer, Nobel 1949

Noam ChomskyIf the Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged.

—  Noam Chomsky, 1928-, American linguist, philosopher, social activist

Noam ChomskyEverybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

—  Noam Chomsky, 1928-, American linguist, philosopher, social activist

Noam ChomskyNobody should have any illusions. The United States has essentially a one-party system and the ruling party is the business party.

—  Noam Chomsky, 1928-, American linguist, philosopher, social activist

W.H. AudenTo some degree every American poet feels that the whole responsibility for contemporary poetry has fallen upon his shoulders, that he is a literary aristocracy of one.

—  W.H. Auden, 1907-1973, British poet

Marshall McLuhanPoetry and the arts can’t exist in America. Mere exposure to the arts does nothing for a mentality which is incorrigibly dialectical. The vital tensions and nutritive action of ideogram remain inaccessible to this state of mind.

—  Marshall McLuhan, 1911-1980, Canadian academic & media theorist

     (Letter to Ezra Pound, 21 December 1948)

Erica JongIt is heresy in America to embrace any way of life except as half of a couple. Solitude is un-American.

—  Erica Jong, 1942-, American writer

D. H. LawrenceThe essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted.

—  D. H. Lawrence, 1885-1930, British writer

John Kenneth GalbraithMore die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

—  John Kenneth Galbraith, 1908-2006, American-Canadian economist

Henry KissingerThe Trump phenomenon is in large part a reaction of Middle America to attacks on its values by intellectual and academic communities. There are other reasons, but this is a significant one.

—  Henry Kissinger, 1923-2023, American politician

Henry KissingerAmerica has no permanent friends or enemies, only interests.

—  Henry Kissinger, 1923-2023, American politician

Philip RothYou can’t write good satirical fiction in America because reality will quickly outdo anything you might invent.

—  Philip Roth, 1933-2018, American writer

Frank ZappaModern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.

—  Frank Zappa, 1940-1993, American musician

P.J. O’ RourkeThe 2016 presidential campaign is the most severe case of mass psychosis since the Salem witch trials of 1692.

—  P.J. O’ Rourke, 1947-2022, American columnist & writer

P.J. O’ RourkeWherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

—  P.J. O’ Rourke, 1947-2022, American columnist & writer

Frida Kahlo I find that Americans completely lack sensibility and good taste. They are boring, and they all have faces like unbaked rolls.

—  Frida Kahlo, 1907-1954, Mexican painter

André BretonColumbus had to leave with madmen to discover America. And see how this madness has taken shape and duration.

—  André Breton, 1896-1966, French writer, founder of Surrealism

StendhalThere is much less envy in America than in France. And much less spirit.

—  Stendhal, 1783-1842, French writer

Nicolas Gomez DavilaAn American historian cannot write history without lamenting that Providence did not consult him beforehand.

—  Nicolas Gomez Davila, 1913-1994, Colombian writer

Thomas SowellToo many Republicans treat English as a second language, with Beltway lingo being their native tongue.

—  Thomas Sowell, 1930 -, American political thinker

Funny Quotes

TalleyrandI found there a country with thirty-two religions and only one sauce.

—  Talleyrand, 1754-1838, French statesman & diplomat

43 likes
George CarlinIn America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

24 likes
George CarlinThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

18 likes
Dave LettermanAmerica is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

—  Dave Letterman, 1947-, American TV talk show host

6 likes
Ambrose BierceUn-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

—  Ambrose Bierce, 1842–1914, American writer

3 likes
Dave BarryThe metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

—  Dave Barry, 1947-, American journalist

3 likes
P.J. O’ RourkeThe Democrats said, “We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it.” The Republicans said, “There's nothing wrong with America, and we can fix that.”

—  P.J. O’ Rourke, 1947-2022, American columnist & writer




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1 Friendship
2 Victory & Defeat
3 Solitude
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5 Self-reliance
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