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Wilson MiznerA fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

—  Wilson Mizner, 1876-1913, American playwright

Dave LettermanIf what you've done is stupid, but it works… then it really isn't all that stupid.

—  Dave Letterman, 1947-, American TV talk show host

George CarlinThink of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

George CarlinNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

—  George Carlin, 1936-2008, American comedian

NapoleonNever ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

Dorothy ParkerI require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

—  Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, American writer, poet, satirist, critic

NapoleonIn politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

NapoleonThe fool has one great advantage over a man of sense: he is always satisfied with himself.

—  Napoleon, 1769-1821, French Emperor

George Bernard ShawA fool’s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry.

—  George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish writer, Nobel 1925

Benjamin FranklinAny fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

—  Benjamin Franklin, 1706-1790, American politician & writer

Albert EinsteinTwo things are infinite: the universe and the human stupidity.

—  Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German-Jewish physicist

Friedrich NietzscheForgetting our intentions is the most frequent of all acts of stupidity.

—  Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, German philosopher

Arthur SchopenhauerThe more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him.

—  Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860, German philosopher

H.L. MenckenIt is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

—  H.L. Mencken, 1880-1956, American columnist & cultural critic

H.L. MenckenNobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

—  H.L. Mencken, 1880-1956, American columnist & cultural critic

Mark TwainIt is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

—  Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American writer

Mark TwainSuppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

—  Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American writer

Mark TwainNever argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

—  Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American writer

Oscar WildeThere is no sin except stupidity.

—  Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish writer

Eugene IonescoI didn't mean you were stupid. It's just that you're not logical, which isn't the same thing at all.

—  Eugene Ionesco, 1912-1994, French-Romanian playwright

TalleyrandTo succeed in the world, it is much more necessary to possess the penetration to discern who is a fool, than to discover who is a clever man.

—  Talleyrand, 1754-1838, French statesman & diplomat

Fernando PessoaNo intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it.

—  Fernando Pessoa, 1888-1935, Portuguese poet & writer

Charles de GaulleYou may be sure that the Americans will commit all the stupidities they can think of, plus some that are beyond imagination.

—  Charles de Gaulle, 1890-1970, French President

Stanislaw Jerzy LecThe only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him

—  Stanislaw Jerzy Lec, 1906-1966, Polish author of maxims

G. K. ChestertonTo be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

—  G. K. Chesterton, 1874-1936, English writer & critic

Paul ValeryStupidity is not my strong point.

—  Paul Valery, 1871-1945, French poet

Fyodor DostoyevskyA fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

—  Fyodor Dostoyevsky, 1821-1881, Russian writer

Isaac AsimovWhen stupidity is considered patriotism, it is unsafe to be intelligent.

—  Isaac Asimov, 1920-1992, American Sci-Fi writer

Karl KrausThe secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.

—  Karl Kraus, 1874-1936, Austrian writer

Lyndon JohnsonJerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

—  Lyndon Johnson, 1908-1973, American President [1963-1969]

CiceroAny man can make a mistake; only a fool keeps making the same one.

—  Cicero, 106-43 BC, Roman orator & statesman

Arthur ClarkeThe phenomenon of UFO doesn't say anything about the presence of intelligence in space. It just shows how rare it is here on the earth.

—  Arthur Clarke, 1917-2008, British Sci-Fi writer

William ShakespeareThe fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.

—  William Shakespeare, 1564-1616, English poet & playwright ‐ As You Like It

George Bernard ShawI have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

—  George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish writer, Nobel 1925

Bible Quotes

Old TestamentDo not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.

—  Old Testament ‐ Proverbs 26:4

Old TestamentAs a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.

—  Old Testament ‐ Proverbs 26:11

Latin Quotes

SenecaWhat fools these mortals be!

Tanta stultitia mortalium est.

—  Seneca, 4 AD-65 AD, Roman philosopher

Funny Quotes

Dave BarryUser: the word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”

—  Dave Barry, 1947-, American journalist


Ancient Greek

ThucydidesAlthough we bless your ignorance of evil, we do not envy your stupidity.

Μακαρίσαντες υμών το απειρόκακον ού ζηλούμεν το άφρον.

—  Thucydides, 460-394 BC, Ancient Greek historian

HomerOnce a thing has been done, even the fool sees it.

Ρεχθέν δε τε νήπιος έγνω.

—  Homer, c. 800-750 BC, II ‐ Iliad XVII

DemocritusTo the fools, not reason but disaster becomes a teacher.

Νηπίοισιν ου λόγος, αλλά ξυμφορή γίνεται διδάσκαλος.

—  Democritus, 470-370 BC, Ancient Greek philosopher



Yiddish proverbWhen a wise man talks to a fool, two fools are talking.

—  Yiddish proverb

Yiddish proverbTwo are embarrassed: the fool in the company of wise men and the wise man in the company of fools.

—  Yiddish proverb

English proverbThere's no fool like an old fool.

—  English proverb

English proverbA fool and his money are soon parted.

—  English proverb


Movie Quotes

Duck Soup (1933)Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

—  from the film Duck Soup (1933)



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