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The Best Quotations

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Quotations

In politics one comes with a brilliant future and leaves with a dark past.

Bite marks are love notes written in flesh.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

(wrongly attributed to Mencken, Oscar Wilde and others)


Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

(attributed to various authors but the origin of this saying is unknown)


Each time history repeats itself, the price goes up.

Sex in France is a comedy; in England it is a tragedy; in America it's a melodrama; in Italy it's an opera; in Germany, a reason to take up philosophy

I’m busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

A woman hides from a man her past, the man hides her future.

Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

Getting something done is an accomplishment; getting something done right is an achievement.

When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.

When I hear artists... making fun of businessmen I think of a regiment in which the band makes fun of the cooks.

Getting something done is an accomplishment; getting something done right is an achievement.

A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller, and a home happier.

Personal Stories

The sword of Damocles hangs above Pandora’s box.

Funny Quotes

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Don't get down on one knee for a woman who won't get down on two for you.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

The speed of time is one second per second.

The astronomers must have been very clever to have found out the names of all the stars.

(from the book “The Physics Teacher”, Volume 8, 1970)


An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.

I am a Marxist —of the Groucho tendency.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

I tried setting my hotmail password to 'penis'. It said my password wasn't long enough.

Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.


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 Popular Sources
1 Seneca
2 Epicurus
3 Shakespeare
4 Lenin
5 Nietzsche
6 Cicero
7 Horace
8 Talleyrand
9 Einstein
10 Jean-Paul Sartre
11 Julius Caesar
12 G. Bernard Shaw
13 Otto von Bismarck
14 Napoleon
15 Blaise Pascal
16 Lao-Tzu
17 Oscar Wilde
18 Aristotle
19 Plato
20 Socrates
21 Wolfgang Goethe
22 Homer
23 William Blake
24 Ghandi
25 Benjamin Franklin
26 Karl Marx
27 Hippocrates
28 Schopenhauer
29 Voltaire
30 John Kennedy
31 Diogenes
32 Abraham Lincoln
33 Jean Cocteau
34 Kavafy
35 Churchill
36 Eugene Ionesco
37 Heraclitus
38 Fernando Pessoa
39 Disraeli
40 Victor Hugo

 

2024: Manolis Papathanassiou