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Wilson Mizner

1876-1913 ,  American playwright
Wilson MiznerAmerican playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles and was affiliated with his brother, Addison Mizner, in a series of scams and picaresque misadventures.

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Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.

Be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet them on the way down.

Hollywood is a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy.

telegram to his ill brother

I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.

on his deathbed

You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that.

on his deathbed

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.

Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.

Funny Quotes

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.


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